The joy and excitement of bringing a new baby into the world can quickly change to stress and uncertainty if your baby needs to spend time in the Newborn Intensive Care Unit (NICU). 

Approximately 11% of newborns nationwide require care in the NICU. The most common reason is premature birth. Other common causes include breathing issues, low blood sugar, jaundice, infection and congenital problems. The length of your baby’s stay depends on how early they were born and the complexity of their health issues. 

Thanks to medical advances, premature babies can now survive with NICU care as young as 22 weeks. “While improved survival rates for babies in the NICU is all great news, this fragile time in baby’s life can take its toll both emotionally and physically on parents and needs to be validated and addressed,” says Cara Solness, PhD, Nebraska Medicine clinical psychologist specializing in NICU, perinatal and neonatal mental health. 

As many as 30% of moms and 17% of dads experience depression during this period. “Not only that, this experience has a lasting effect on parents that they carry for years after,” says Dr. Solness. 

To help parents cope during this difficult time, Dr. Solness visits the bedside of all parents with a baby who is born at 32 weeks or earlier or with other medical issues requiring NICU care. Parents are also administered a depression screening at regular intervals to identify those who may need more help.

“This is an extremely stressful environment for parents as they try to balance family, work and tending to their fragile newborn,” notes Dr. Solness. “Any amount of time spent in the NICU is difficult. Many parents are experiencing high levels of stress and anxiety, symptoms of depression and for some, acute distress disorder.”

Parents are often coping with a wide variety of emotions including:

• Feeling guilty about their baby’s condition and blaming themselves.
• Feeling guilty when they are away from the NICU, and at the same time, feeling guilty about not being home if they have other children.
• Grieving about missing out on the expected pregnancy experience
• Coping with interrupted bonding and the associated guilt.
• Feeling powerless, isolated or out of control.
• Fear of touching or interacting with a small baby or uncertainty due to the medical equipment involved.
• Recovering from a possible traumatic birth experience.
• Managing time off from work or return to work.
• Parenting partners/dads feeling helpless to protect their family.
• Learning to cope with their fears, anxiety, emotional stress and physical fatigue and many other experiences. 

Dr. Solness’s goal is to provide therapy that is customized to the needs of each parent. “I am there to provide support and to be alongside them during this emotional journey,” Dr. Solness says. “It is so important to have someone who can provide a listening ear, offer validation, empathy and normalize their fears, concerns, anxiety and emotions.” 

Some of the support and tools Dr. Solness provides include: 

• Supporting bonding attachment.
• Empowering parents to communicate with the medical team and act as partners in their baby’s care.
• Helping parents learn their baby’s cues and celebrate milestones.
• Providing education to promote developmental engagement.
• Supporting coping and facilitating problem-solving skills. 

“While this can be a very challenging time, having a mental health professional who specializes in the NICU experience can help families navigate the ups and downs and help them transition into their new identities and roles as parents of a NICU baby,” Dr. Solness says.